Are you going to have the new projector ready for the Employee Meeting?

Yes. I want everybody to be able to get the worst news in the best possible resolution.

Friend's Mothers

It is not necessarily okay to visit your friends mother on her birthday.... unless she is dying.

Fifth Dimension

What? Was I logged on to Coral in a alternative universe or something?

"Craig is the most honest guy in the group"

... then he lies about pulling a name out of a hat.

Keeping your email in your recycle bin is like keeping your car in a car compactor at night...

...you still want the car but it might be compacted in the morning

I think I hit my head on something but I don't remember...

...there is a bump here.

Kayak through your meal

This fork at one end and spoon at another combination will allow Craig to "kayak through his meal"

http://www.amazon.com/Primus-Folding-Spork-Green/dp/B001ONNP18/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=sporting-goods&qid=1237394538&sr=8-2

Why don't we fire her...

... and hire someone that can press more than one key at a time without crashing their computer?

Executive Leadership Team to visit each Deluxe site in 2009

Really? We'll have to get donuts for that.

Pencil Emergency

Craig keeps a golf pencil in his wallet... in case of a Pencil Emergency.

At old chicago...

Craig - what is the hall of foam?
Ryan - it might have to do with the world beer tour... I think if you drink like a hundred beers or something they put your name on the wall..
Craig - all in one sitting?
Ryan - .... no

Book Reports

I learned in school that its easy to fake a book report on a book that I didn't read if you criticize it. That way you don't have to be very specific.

I was scheming

I was going to put the BIOS executable on the flashdrive, and hide it in your dock, so next time you docked your computer, the BIOS update would run. At that point, it would just be simpler to complete the update than to quit of it.